Music: "Patience" - Guns N' Roses
Mood: and

Whew... so busy.

Got myself a job that has been sapping me like mad, had a medical emergency and another one in my personal life. Yargh, I don't mind downturns in life because it makes the good things only that much better when they come around. At same time, I really hate it when things that seriously suck blindside me... and I've been blindsided. It never feels good.

What did feel good was the clarity that came in the wake of a mad draining of a bottle of plum wine by yours truly. Inspired a bit of writing, a bit of drawing, and overall clarity. Shit happens and you can either wallow in it or grab a shovel. Unfortunately, I always chose the shovel.

Something my psych professor in college once told me still rings true today. He said that there are some people in this world that cannot fight who they are no matter what they try to do. There are some that wrap themselves up securely in fantasy to the point where something bad happens and they fall apart. However, to break the mold, sometimes you have to experience something bad to find the inspiration to become greater and to get the motive to change. Simple common sense, I suppose.

My motivation though is that I always opt for the shovel. I really don't know why I do. One side wants to wallow in the sorrow and the other just says "fuck this bullshit" and sometimes without me wanting to, I find myself over it.

Heh, it's always been hard to keep me down. Doesn't look like I'll be down for long though.